Identity.

As I'm sure many of you have already heard, Obama has finally affirmed his support for same sex marriages. When I first heard the news I was ecstatic. 'The President of the United States of America supports my cause,' I thought and I did a little bit of extra reading trying to figure out how this came about and how this would impact gay rights in the USA. When I say, 'a little bit,' I actually mean a lot. Eventually, I stopped researching and asked myself one question. WHY?

Why do I care about the gay rights movement in the US? Obama's statement is never going to affect me or my rights in anyway. Maybe I follow the US gay rights movement so closely because I can associate myself better with Americans than I can with Pakistanis. The ideology of the average Pakistani is so different from the views I hold. It's more than just my sexuality or my religious views. It's everything. We belong to completely different worlds. I dream, think, and even write this blog in a language that the average Pakistani can barely understand.

I often imagine myself arguing over issues such as gay rights with republicans on American talk shows but I could never imagine arguing over anything with a conservative Pakistani on any of the Pakistani political talk shows. Perhaps because, it is physically impossible (for me) to disagree with someone politely and culturally unacceptable for me to disrespect anyone who basis their views on Islamic texts and since the vast majority of individuals in Pakistan justify their views through Islamic texts, I can't really discuss anything openly.

I used to feel this urge in my gut to do something for this country, to bring about a positive change but I don't think I care anymore. It just feels like too much work. I have the greatest respect for the handful of individuals who continue to fight to bring about liberalism in the society (Miss Marvi Sirmad, you are absolutely amazing), but I just don't have the strength to continue to fight anymore. I call myself a Pakistani, but am I really a Pakistani and if I'm not a Pakistani, then who am I?

Who am I?